The Staircase House
The below is an allegorical story drawing on lessons from “Three Decades in Thirty Days” including Let Them Go, Take Risks and Do What You Need Before What You Want. Enjoy :)
There is a place where an endless staircase leads to an infinite number of levels, called The Staircase House. It was created from humanities imagination, grit and determination. The Staircase House is never ending and always building. Those who want to climb the endless staircase do so. Once they feel settled at a certain level, a certain place, where climbing just does not make sense anymore, they stop. Others desire to scale the floors, yet the staircase does not invite them in until they’re ready. And then there’s those who never stop climbing. Never settled. Haunted by the what if’s and controlled by their curiosity. Year by year, the building grows – from those who’ve found their place, and from those looking for more.
The first floors of The Staircase House are nothing short of assembly belts. People arrive as quickly as they leave. It’s an unusual day when someone cannot make it beyond these floors. These floors are the foundation to the rest of the building. These floors teach people to interact with one another and how to navigate the basics of the world. This is where a boy and a girl first met; day after day, month after month, they found each other on the same floors – building bases.
Soon the boy and the girl became friends, talking with each other about their wonders of the what the next floors would bring. They shared laughs, secrets and tears. Consistently, floor after floor, the staircase would open to them when the time was right, when the floor no longer served lessons to them.
The boy and girl were now ready for the next level. They took each other’s hands as the staircase opened to them and walked up. Those who have been to this level either say it was the best, or worst level to be on. A once carefree nature could be seen as carelessness. Curiosity and open-mindedness could turn into narrow thinking and the need to be right. Self-confidence could turn to arrogance or constant self-criticism. Yet despite these potential drawbacks, the necessary chaos was needed to solidify the person they were meant to become. It was a floor of self-discovery, experimentation and deepening the lessons of right and wrong. This floor was met with days of angst, but also days of the joy, laughter and adventure. Burdens and responsibilities were only beginning to increase, and excitement was high.
After they both successfully learned their lessons on the floor, the day came when the staircase opened up once again to the boy and the girl to ascend to the next level. It was bitter sweet, as they knew walking up those stairs meant more freedom but also more obligation. They took each other’s hand, once more, and walked up. The girl looked ahead, waiting for what’s next. While the boy, looked back, sinking into nostalgia.
When they arrived, the boy was not a boy anymore, but a man. And the girl was not a girl anymore, but a woman. Quickly the level began to test them. Careless decisions were now met with harder consequences. Ego and pride put a barrier to deepening connections with others. Narrow-minded thinking only made problems worse without resolution.
“Do you ever miss the other floors?” The man asked the woman.
“Miss them?” The woman questioned. “Reliving those moments on the other floors are nice to think about time to time, but miss them?”
The man looked at the woman, paused, hesitated, and asked, “Would you ever go back? To relive those moments?”
The woman, confused, looked at the man, “Never”.
The woman and the man continued living on the floor, learning lessons day after day. The woman couldn’t wait until the next floor, and what was on the other side, but it seemed the man struggled. When good judgement was required, he acted carelessly. When maturity was required, he acted selfishly. When open-mindedness and empathy were required, he withdrew, unable to comprehend others beyond his own world. The woman began to notice the man’s struggle, and offered her help - but the man, where humility was required, only showed pride and ego.
One day, the stairway appeared. The woman and man took each other’s hands and began to walk up; however, the man was stopped at the steps.
“I cannot walk up the stairs.” He said. “Not yet.”
The woman looked back up the stairs, and back down at the man. “Do you want to walk up the stairs?” She asked him.
“Yes.” He said. “But I need more time.”
And so, the woman met the man at the bottom of the stairs.
Day by day, the stairs appeared but would not let them man enter. The woman thought to herself, he wants to, so he will. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon.
But as the days grew into months, and months grew into years, the woman became distant. She had already learned all that she needed to, and the floor was no longer serving her. She would smile at the man to his face, but when he turned around, she would look longingly onto the stairs. She dreamt of what was on the other floors. Who she would find there and what she would learn. But to leave the floor without the man? That made her heart break. She continued to tell herself, he wants to, so he will. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon.
But that day never came. The woman was slowly weakening, becoming someone unrecognizable to herself. She constantly questioned why she was no longer happy. Wondering if she’ll ever make it to the next level. Wondering if she was even still meant for the next level. Wondering if this is the floor where she would stay forever. Her thoughts began to change, and her dreams started to fade. Some days she would even tell herself, I’m sure the next floor is nothing special, it’s actually nice here. But her heart could not lie.
Resentment grew quietly. At the man, at herself, at the floor, at those who came and went. She blinded herself from the staircase, never looking in it’s way, for it reminded her of what could be. Other’s passed her by on the floor, appearing and then disappearing onto the next level. She felt trapped, left behind by the world, weakened by her own desires to stay with the man.
One morning, the woman woke up to a voice, “Why are you still here?”
It was an elder, a Keeper of The Staircase House. Whose job is to control the order of The House. To make sure it remains as it is, and grows as it needs.
The woman blinked her eyes, “Excuse me?” she asked, squinting at the Keeper.
“Why are you still here?” The Keeper asked again. “You should be moved on by now. You no longer belong on this floor.”
“But the man…” The woman said quietly. “The stairs will not open for him. Not yet.”
“Yes, not yet.” The Keeper said. “And maybe not ever. The Staircase does not open for desire, it opens for evidence. Until the man learns and shows he is ready, they will not open. Not out of punishment, but out of protection. And you must move on for the same reason.”
“But what if I stay?” The woman asked.
The Keeper said sternly, “Then you will be removed from The Staircase House. You will wither, until you are no longer on this floor. One way or another, you will be separated from this floor. Whether that be your decision to move on and find the floor you belong to or shrivel away and be erased.”
“I must go.” The woman said to the man. “I don’t want to, but I have to.”
“Good.” The man said. “Leave. I want to stay here. I didn’t want to climb the stairs with you anyways.”
The woman, although shocked and hurt by the man’s response, understood. Even his reaction was indicative of the reasons why he needed to stay, to learn and to grow. Even through the hurt, it gave the woman clarity that the floor was no longer a place that would benefit her.
So she walked – one step at a time, even with a little hesitation. She walked up the stairs until she almost could not see the floor anymore. She looked back at the man, and his anger turned to sadness. She waved goodbye, and continued to her next chapter. As she entered the new floor, with an pain in her heart, but hope on her mind, she thought back to herself, a lesson to never be forgotten again, “The only path your responsible for leading in life is your own.”
