The Gardener

The below is an allegorical story drawing on lessons from “Three Decades in Thirty Days” including Never Lie, Never Be Used for Someone Else’s Agenda and Protect Yourself. Enjoy :)

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A girl is the best gardener in town. Everyone comes to the girl for fruits, rooted vegetables and flowers. Her strawberries are the brightest, her potatoes are the biggest and her daisies rarely wither away. The girl is the best. At least, this is what she has been told.

The girl scans her soil beds every morning, evening and night looking for pests, molds and dry spots. She waters her produce with fresh spring water and feeds them with compost created from the cycle of her past goods. Her beds are perfectly placed in the sun and shade for the plants to grow. She's meticulous, conscientious and an intelligent gardener. Yes, she is the best. She knows this, for this is what the people tell her.

Day by day, people come to the girl for her produce. She likes helping the people with rarely expecting anything in return. She likes being wanted and praised for her work - for she feels her garden and what she gives is a reflection of the person she is.

One day, the girl notices her garden looking scarce. The strawberries now have spaces in between them and do not shine as brightly as before. Her potatoes are half their size. And her flowers are dying more quickly than normal. The girl inspects the soil, which is dry and lacking nutrients. The sun and the shade are changing directions, and the water is getting colder. This is a normal process of gardening during the season change, but the girl does not tell herself that. The girl, at this moment, is only worried about how people will now perceive her supply. She wonders if people will continue asking her for her supply. The girl, deep down, begins to panic. If the people realize her garden is not as healthy as before, they may not come to the girl anymore. They may not find her to be the best gardener. And if they do not find her to be the best gardener, than what is she?

"I'm the best gardener in town, I can give away more than usual. I'll just grow twice as many." The girl tells herself, despite knowing the season is coming to an end.

"The neighbors always come to me for goods, they must really like me." The girl tells herself, despite ever being invited to a neighbor's houses.

"I've helped my neighbors out, so they will help me out if needed." The girl tells herself, despite ever receiving anything from them. 

So the girl gives extra. She picks the brightest strawberries for others, while saving the dullest for herself. She gives away twice as many potatoes, and leaves none for her own cupboard. Although flowers make her happy, she gives these away too.

Winter comes and stays. The girl reaches for her pantry to find nothing but empty jars. She is starving and without food. The girl heads to her neighbors, and knocks on their door.

"Do you have any strawberries?" She asks. The neighbor declines.

"We do not have enough strawberries for our family and yours. The brightest ones are almost gone."

The girl then goes to another neighbor.

"Do you have any potatoes?" She asks. The neighbor declines.

"We do not have enough potatoes for our family and yours. Even the extra you gave us are running out."

The girl goes to her last neighbor.

"Do you have any flowers?" She asks. And again, the neighbor declines.

"Our flowers are already withering away. They will be gone by next week."

As she arrives back home, the girl stares at her once prosperous garden, with the remains now dead and covered in snow. She peers into her house at the empty cupboards, with no flowers brightening her table. Her reality is questioned. Her narrative she once told herself has fallen apart. She questioned why she ever thought her neighbors would help her in a time of need, when she had seen no evidence of this before. She questioned why she would give away the best of her garden, with leaving little for herself. She questioned why, where in her mind, she sacrificed her own well-being in order to not let other people down. She lied to herself. Gave her best self away. Attached her worth to the opinion of others; attached her worth to the opinion of who she thought she was - the best gardener in town. The best gardener in town who now has no food for herself.

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It's summer now, and the girl has created a garden more abundant and prosperous than the year before, however, the pains of the winter still linger on her heart.

At first, the girl would exchange her goods with anyone who would offer. A bucket of kale for only a bunch of spinach. Her sweetest blueberries for halfway to expired raspberries. The girl, as she did before, told herself she didn't need much. The bunch of spinach and expired raspberries would do just fine. But as the days went by and the sour taste of other's cheapened goods stuck to her mouth, she began to wonder what life would be like if she received the same quality of gifts that she gave.

The girl learned how to particular and strategic in what she gives away from her garden and who she gives it away to. Rarely does she agree to one-way exchanges. Not out of spite, but out of fair trade. The brightest strawberries are saved for herself. She makes sure to store double the amount of potatoes than needed, and her table doesn’t go a day without flowers softening it.

Soon, no one was coming to the girl anymore. There was no more talk of her being the best gardener in town. The girl would reject a trade if the value was not of equal or better quality to what she gave. This upset her - for in her soul, the girl by nature was a giver. But the girl knew she could no longer sacrifice her best goods for other’s empty hands.

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One day, a boy came to her with the most unique, colorful flowers she had ever seen, along with a backpack full of leafy vegetables.

"Can I trade you these flowers and vegetables for a handful of your strawberries?" The boy asked. The girl wondered why the boy would want to trade his best flowers and vegetables for only a handful of her strawberries.

"In exchange, I'll give you an entire bag of strawberries and a sack of fresh ground flour." The girl said. The boy looked at her surprised and accepted with gratitude.

Soon the boy and the girl would exchange gifts often and always of the same quality. The boy and the girl would learn new skills from each other - how the boy got his flowers to be so bright, and how the girl doubled her size in potatoes. Word spread across the different towns and soon the girl and the boy would trade with others who also had the same quality of goods, sometimes even better. The girl was now not solely re-experiencing her true nature of giving, but embracing the gratitude and warmth it feels to receive.

As the season started to close, and her work began to rest, the girl meditated in her surroundings and how far she came. Her garden had doubled its size, and she was growing foods that she never imagined possible. Her home was overly stocked with not only her own fruits, but those she received from others as well.

She  sat outside, looked at the vegetables and their leaves slowly withering away and knew this was due to the natural cycle of the Earth, not her skills. She did not fear she wouldn’t be seen as the best gardener, because this perception was no longer circling in her reality. She no longer told herself she was the best gardener because of what others told her, but by seeing the truth and tending to the relationship she had with her garden. Evidence of her worth and skillset proved more trustworthy than her desire to be praised and loved from others.

As winter crept in, the girl began settling in her home to prepare for her season of solitude. She heard a knock on her door, opening it to find the boy and the people she had grown close to through trading. They held baskets with luxuries and foods to prepare a meal from. The girl invited them in, where they sat in good company and good food - speaking and sharing of their days, their passions and their fears.

The girl, at this moment, felt proud of herself. She understood that if she had not made the hard decision to let go of her fears and surface level desires of being accepted, she would not be sitting in this deep feeling of belonging and alignment. She was proud and grateful of her ability to let go, not only of those who no longer served her, but letting go of the version of who she was that never served herself.